Aftermath
by Technophobia678
Summary: Post Sans Voirs. In the aftermath of Callen's arrest, the team is left reeling. Trying to come to terms with the terrible events of the past couple of days, Kensi and Deeks are left to try and pick up the pieces and figure out what to do next. Spoilers for the last few episodes of season 3 and language.


A look at what might have happened after Sans Voir. Something that struck me last night and actually stayed with me long enough to write down. It's quite enjoyable having finished my exams and can actually write without feeling guilty.

Just went through it again for the odd typos that I missed and got really annoyed about. Nothing drastic has changed in the last few days so I still do not own NCIS: Los Angeles, though if anyone would like to procure them for me, my 21st birthday is in a few months and it would make a great birthday present.

XXX

Kensi quietly slid her achy body down onto the couch, feeling the strain as her muscles protested the movement, but she was too numb to care. All she wanted was to be left alone.

The sun was low in the sky, so the sun rays were pouring through the small window behind her, the heat baking her back and neck. It was almost uncomfortable but she relished the sensation, folding her arms around her waist and bringing her legs up to curl up around her, ignoring the flashes of pain she felt every time she jostled her body.

It was quiet, not a soul present in the bullpen. The usually bustling and busy workplace was silent and empty. Hetty wasn't in her office. Nell and Eric were upstairs in Ops. She didn't know and didn't care where Granger was.

It wasn't like her to be so still. Despite her general crappiness, a part of her longed to go to the gym and pummel a punching bag until her legs gave out and her arms burned from exertion. But Sam was in the gym. Dear, sweet Sam, who was so honourable and so kind, was throwing himself at a punching bag, bulging arms like pistons, sweat running down his face, possibly accompanied by tears, but no-one could say for certain. His rage was a visible, tangible force that could felt the moment one entered the room and Kensi couldn't bear to remain in his presence. She'd left the gym, leaving Sam and her partner, her loyal, emphatic partner who had stayed behind, keeping himself in the lion's den to handle Sam. And her partner called _her_ reckless.

She shuddered, her eyes closing. _Don't think about it_, she ordered herself fiercely, feeling her eyes dampen alarmingly. She couldn't go there, could not let herself dwell on thoughts from the last couple of days. If she did she thought her heart-still fragile and delicate after so much abuse over the years-would shatter like poorly spun glass into a million little pieces. She didn't want to think. She didn't want to feel. She just wanted to sit there under the unforgiving Californian sun and let it burn all of her turmoil away, until she was as dry and as empty as the desert.

She had no idea how long she spent huddled on the couch, her back and her hair burning with heat when her numbed brain identified the sound of footsteps. Her tired eyes slid in the direction of doorway and in seconds her easily identifiable partner slowly entered the bullpen. Even from where she was she could see the weariness in his lean frame. She wondered what Sam was doing now.

Deeks spotted her instantly and paused as he took her in. Wordlessly, he walked over to her, his customary easy grace absent and his usually merry mischievous countenance was not present. He looked tired and worn, much as she felt, but he appeared to be more alert than he was.

She shifted over slightly, turning her body sideways so that she faced her partner as he dropped onto the couch beside her, inches from her socked feet. The scene was so achingly similar to not too long ago when they had been Jason and Melissa, with a not so small dash of Kensi and Deeks thrown in, undercover as husband and wife. She had been surprised about how much she had enjoyed it and even after a couple of weeks, she still missed having him beside her at night, even with the playful banter and arguments over who got the right hand side of the bed.

Her partner was unusually quiet, which upset her. Deeks was normally so boisterous and irrepressible and verbose. For him to be quiet something was wrong. She used to get so annoyed about his constant, _constant _talking. Now every time he wasn't rambling, challenging her, keeping her on her toes and making her laugh she hated it. It was his personality, his way of defusing tension, making people laugh, making _her_ laugh. Even after Renko…he had her feel better. Even if he wasn't talking now, his very presence comforted her.

It was almost funny how she had become so dependent on him without her even realising it. He was right she _was _going soft. Maybe that was why she was so uncharacteristically motionless.

Quietly, uncharacteristically, she broke the silence. "How's Sam?"

Deeks shifted so that his leg bent out and he was facing her, blonde hair almost luminescent in the sunlight. A hand reached out and took hold of her foot, his thumb gently rubbing it as he looked at her, cataloguing her, searching for injuries or pain. It was a normal habit for him and she didn't bristle like she had at first.

"Hetty's with him" Deeks said quietly, still rubbing her foot absently, she doubted if he even knew he was doing it. "She can get through to him better than me."

Kensi nodded. Then she frowned and leaned forward, dislodging her foot from her partner's hand to scrutinise his throat.

"What happened?" she murmured, leaning forward to gently touch the discoloured skin that was in the shape of a large handprint.

"I, uh" Deeks huffed quietly, glancing towards the bullpen before turning rueful azure eyes back to her mismatched ones. "I kinda told the big guy something he didn't want to hear. He didn't appreciate it."

"Deeks" she groaned softly, even as she tenderly checked the swollen area with her fingers.

"It had to be said" Deeks gently tilted his head away from her probing fingers.

"What did you say?" Kensi asked warily.

"I told him that he was going to hurt himself if he didn't stop and that he was being an idiot punishing himself for what Callen did. I told him that he had no control over Callen's choices and that Callen made the decision to kill the Chameleon and if he thought that he could have done something to stop it, he was nuts because none of us thought Callen would go off the deep end and shoot the guy, even if we all wanted to."

Kensi's mouth hung open and she was momentarily lost for words. Forget reckless Deeks was _suicidal_. "Are you _nuts_?"

"It had to be said" Deeks shrugged unconcernedly, a wince flashing across his face as he touched his neck. "Sam couldn't have known Callen would go all lone wolf and he shouldn't punish himself for it."

"Yeah but you just waved a red flag in the bull's face" Kensi gawked, inwardly cringing at having to talk about what happened today. "You're lucky Sam didn't break your neck. What the hell were you thinking?"

"Hetty kind of intervened at that point" Deeks admitted. "I'm hoping they can hash it out together."

Kensi narrowed her eyes at her partner. Deeks was far smarter and perceptive than people gave him credit for, including sometimes, the team. He was far better at reading people than she ever would have thought and, unfortunately, better than she was at it.

"You set them up, didn't you?" she said suspiciously.

Deeks blinked, bewildered. Kensi wasn't fooled. "What do you mean?"

"You pushed Sam to take his anger out on you and at the same time pull Hetty out of her funk so she could get through to Sam. You played game on them" she accused, an unbelievable half smile on her face, one she didn't think she had in her. It would be hilarious in other circumstances; Deeks running game on two absolute masters of deception. She didn't approve of him putting himself in harm's way to pull the two out of their respective choices for grief but she hoped it worked.

She poked her partner with her finger. "Nice one Partner."

Deeks looked perfectly confused, spoiled only by the half smirk that teased his mouth. "I hope they can get through to each other" he said more seriously, a sad glint in his eyes. "They're in a bad way."

Kensi's momentary amusement fled like water through cupped hands. She looked down at her feet.

Hetty had been poorly even before the latest fuckup. She'd lost two agents, one of whom appeared to be much closer to her heart than they had realised. The last time she had lost an agent she'd tried to resign. Not only had she lost two but Callen her unofficial favourite had been arrested for the murder of that bastard who had killed her friends. Lauren Hunter and her had never been close but she had deserved better than her death at the hands of a madman taken only to hurt Callen. At least poor Renko hadn't known death was coming for him even after….she shut down that train of thought. She couldn't go there.

And Sam, poor Sam. She knew all too well that he blamed himself for Callen going off the reserve. Sam was the team protector, the one who watched out for everyone else and would give his life for one of them in a heartbeat. Under the muscle and imposing visage was a heart of pure gold, much like the person she sat beside right now. It was funny how fundamentally different the two men were yet so similar in other ways. Sam was Callen's partner, they were inseparable and unstoppable, the ultimate partnership in her eyes, something she'd envied somewhat until she'd gotten a real partner of her own.

Sam would bear the responsibility of Callen losing it. As far as he was concerned, he knew Callen had been opposed to letting the guy go. They all had been against it. But Callen-Callen had been enraged. Renko and Hunter had been targeted because the Chameleon had sought revenge after Callen. They had been mere pawns in his game. He'd used Hunter to try and kill the rest of Callen's team-Sam Deeks and herself-to further his torment. Callen had tried so hard to find a way to stop the inevitable. But it didn't work. The man they'd tried to save in the Taliban was most likely dead at this point. Hunter and Renko had died for nothing. And the Chameleon would have walked.

And Callen hadn't been able to live with that.

So now the Chameleon was dead, Callen was charged with murder, and Sam was wracked with guilt because he felt he should have predicted his partner wouldn't let the asshole walk free. She felt some guilt over it herself. She had known Callen was furious at the thought of letting the asshole walk away, they had all felt the same. She had fantasised about shooting him herself; lined up in her cross hairs of her father's rifle, her finger on the trigger. But Callen had shot him in broad daylight in front of _a fucking TV crew_. As screw-ups went, that was a doozy. If she felt guilty about not stopping Callen, how badly did Sam feel?

She was a coward. She didn't want to know how badly Sam felt or how likely it was that Hetty would resign for the third time running after today. She didn't want to go upstairs to see Nell quietly crying or Eric trying to comfort her, looking as though his chair had disappeared from under him along with the floor, or that Hunter was dead, that her friend Renko had died right in front of her or those awful thoughts she had when she saw the Chameleon was dead, or when Renko was in the hospital or that Callen was likely to be in a prisoner jumpsuit soon or-

"Kensi" Deeks leaned forward and caught her hands. She abruptly realised that she was trembling, her mind swept up from the torrent of thoughts she'd been trying desperately to supress for the entire day. They'd caught her off guard and dragged her down before she'd even realised she was drowning.

She stared down at her hands engulfed in his. He had lovely hands, long and a little rough from fights and labour and guns, his fingers long and slender from years of what she now knew to be violin playing. They cradled hers, his thumbs stroking the back of her hands in a soothing, comforting motion that touched something deep inside her. Looking up, she stared into blue eyes almost as familiar as her own; the memory of him holding out his hands to her in a small, humid room, lasers barring her freedom, set to detonate a bomb and kill them both with one wrong move. He had held out his hands to her and pulled her to safety. And she knew she wasn't the only one who was thinking about it.

"Tell me" he said quietly, his eyes on hers, seeming to look deep into her. He always could read her better than anyone else.

And the words seemed to tumble out of her, like a damp that had just been breached.

"I'm a terrible person" she whispered.

"No you're not" he said immediately and with absolutely no hesitation as she knew he would. He had no idea of how she sometimes felt so guilty about that-no matter how badly she could treat him, Deeks would not let it deter him. He had stuck with her even at her absolute worst and would not let her push him away. Callen and Sam occasionally joked that she had the patience of a saint to put up with him, but she was of the opinion it was more of the other way around. She wasn't an easy person to endure with day after day and he was more than she deserved.

"Yes I am" she said agitatedly, wanting to run a hand through her hair but she liked her hands being in his too much to pull them away.

"You're a terrible driver, I'll give you that" Deeks squeezed her hands. "You're a terrible eater too, I suppose. All of that junk food is not good for you. I don't think you know how to use a vacuum _wifey_ and I know you'd blow up a house if I left you unsupervised in the kitchen again. You're a lousy liar which is funny because we spend our lives lying for the higher good. All of _those _things you are terrible at. Being a terrible person" he squeezed her hands again "you are not. I could give you those head slaps you've been giving me for even thinking it."

Kensi's spine instantly straightened in indignation and her hands pulled closer to her. Undeterred, Deeks merely held on for the ride and raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to continue.

So she huffed and glared at him and then spoke a harsh, biting whisper. "Well if I'm not such a terrible person_, then why was I glad Renko got shot_?"

Now both of Deeks eyebrows rose and he tilted his head to the side acknowledging the awful words. "There's more to the story than that" was all he said and waited.

She glared at him, infuriated at his refusal to even consider the fact that she was less than his opinion of her. Why did he always refuse to think that maybe she wasn't Wonder Woman after all?

"Kensi" ocean eyes met hers firmly and she knew he wasn't going to let her get away with not answering.

"I was glad he had gotten shot" she repeated, her breath suddenly hitching in her chest at saying the words again. "Because when I went to the hospital and saw him coming out of surgery and he-he had a heart attack, all I could think about was the time _you_ got shot and I realised that I was glad it was _him _that got shot and not _you_!" suddenly angry again as tears clouded her vision she tried to pull her hands free, desperate to take a swing at him.

He didn't let her. Holding tightly to her wrists he pulled sharply so that she collided with his chest forcefully. He released her hands to wrap his arms around her waist, holding her against him. Her hair went everywhere and it was made worse when she tried to pull free. Deeks just held on and murmured nonsensically while she squirmed and struggled and if it had been any other time, Deeks would have made a comment about the suggestive position they were in, especially considering she was straddling and squirming over rather dangerous territory of her partner's anatomy.

Unable to pull free, she buried her face into his neck, trembling as she felt one hand run up and down her back soothingly. Her eyes fluttered rapidly as she fought to keep tears away.

"Easy" Deeks murmured.

"He was _my friend_" she whispered shakily.

She had known Mike Renko for years ago, longer than she had Deeks. They'd worked together; teased each other, had been in fire fights, bar fights, she'd even seen him get arrested before, though that was a long and amusing story. She had been right in front of him when he'd been shot and had been the one to put pressure with on his wound until the EMTs arrived. She had been the one to stay at the hospital with him and it had been so eerie, so reminiscent of the time she'd been waiting for news on her blonde surfer partner when he'd been shot. Back then they hadn't been as close as they were now, but they'd been making progress. And as she sat on the uncomfortable chair, Renko's blood staining her shirt, she had grown cold at the idea that it could have been Deeks in there and couldn't stop the silent thanks for that.

What had horrified her was the relief she felt that it was Renko in the OR as opposed to her partner, made all the worse when she'd heard his cardiac monitor stop and did not recover.

"You're not the only one who felt like that Kens" Deeks said quietly.

Kensi pulled away to look at him properly. Deeks looked at her, a self-deprecating sad smirk on his face.

"When the shot went off, Renko was right in front of you" he said quietly, his hand doing circles on her back, probably more for his comfort than hers. "For a split second I was afraid it had hit you. And when I realised it hadn't, I was relieved. I'm sorry Renko's dead. But I'm not sorry that it's him that's dead and not you, as awful as that sounds."

Kensi swallowed as she met her partner's blue eyes, her heart slowly beginning to pound. Not for the first time, she wondered if their partnership was strictly healthy. The mutual dependence, possessiveness and protectiveness on both sides was a little terrifying to her at times, especially at the thought that she might lose him. If she did she didn't know if she could recover. And as awful as those words were, she felt the same about him. Renko was her friend but Deeks was her partner.

"I read somewhere that you shouldn't apologise for how you feel" Deeks reached up to brush a curl behind her ear. He met her eyes. "Neither of us actually want Renko dead and we didn't pull the trigger. The guy that shot him is dead."

"I'm gonna miss him" she said quietly, hating the waver in her voice.

"I know" Deeks tugged her closer. Kensi closed her eyes and snuggled into him. There wasn't anything to it, she had gotten softer because there was no way she would have done this even a year ago, never mind at the beginning of their partnership, because Kensi Blye did not cuddle blonde motor mouth surfer Detectives. At least the Kensi Blye of old didn't.

Silently she sent an apology to Mike Renko, hoping that wherever he was, he would forgive her.

"I'm glad you're not dead" she murmured.

"Likewise partner" he said softly.

She didn't move from her position and Deeks didn't let her go. She felt his chest rise and fall with his breathing and she closed her eyes, wishing it was just another movie night where they'd fallen asleep on the couch and woke up wrapped around each other. It was another facet of their touchy feely relationship that neither really tried to define. She enjoyed those nights dearly and were usually a highlight of her week. But she was too sore, physically and mentally, for this to be just a bad dream.

"How's your arm?" she asked lifting her head slightly to peer at the white bandage poking out from under his black tee.

"It's alright" Deeks muttered. "It'll probably scar though."

Kensi half wanted to tease him about women liking men with scars, but she couldn't muster up the energy. The warmth of the sun and the heat from her partner would lull her into a snooze if her feelings weren't so snarled and tangled. Her head was beginning to ache, a migraine forming in her temples from all of the turmoil of the past two days as well as when it collided with the asphalt.

"I can hear you thinking" Deeks told her hair. "What is it Kens?"

She bit her lip, thinking hard. How could she describe what she was feeling?

"Do you-d'you believe in karma?" she asked hesitantly, tilting her head up to meet her partner's eyes.

He raised his eyebrows in response.

"Karma, like the 'what goes around comes around' thing?" he asked in response. "I'd like to believe it, yeah. I'd like to think there's some sort of judgement waiting for all of us when our time's up. It's nice to think that our friend the Chameleon is being roasted over a pit with Renko shovelling coals in and Hunter poking him with a pitch fork."

The mental image made Kensi snort loudly and almost laugh. "That would be nice" she agreed, the satisfying image almost lightening her mind.

"Why'd you ask?" he queried softly.

She looked away for a moment.

"Do you ever feel like when things seem to be going really well, something happens and really goes wrong?" she asked softly. "Like your world is almost too good to be true and someone up there decides you should suffer because, hey, you're too happy right now and we can't have that, now, can we?"

Deeks had grown tense during her little spiel. "Someone up there has a sick sense of humour" Deeks muttered under his breath and she knew he understood.

"I just thought life was good now, you know?" she whispered. "I finally caught the man who murdered my father. I'd spent _years _searching for answers and I finally got the truth. I even got my mom back after spending so much time hating her. For the first time ever I felt ready to move on."

"And now this" Deeks murmured.

"Every time I think my life is going well, something ruins it" Kensi hissed. "My dad died when I was 15. I got engaged when a was 21 and he left me on Christmas. I finally solve my father's murder, arrest the man responsible, reunite with my mom. Obviously my life was going far too well and I had to be reminded that my life is not supposed to be happy."

"Kensi" Deeks rumbled warningly. "Renko and Hunter didn't die because some higher being jackass decided to punish you for daring to be happy. Jeez, you're as bad as Sam."

She punched him and he hissed.

"Oh crap" she sat up wide-eyed, cursing herself for forgetting his wounded arm.

"Relax Fern I'm fine" he pinned her with stern eyes. "And I'm serious. Don't think that you're cursed or anything stupid like that. You don't have to feel as though something will go wrong the minute you actually enjoy life for a change."

"Then why is it all of the people I care about leave in the end?" she whispered, hating herself for being so needy and pathetic and selfish at such a time, but she honestly couldn't help it.

Her partner had no words-a rarity in itself-and obviously had no idea what he _could _say. He settled for pulling her back into a fierce embrace and she gratefully folded into it.

She knew it was petty, but a part of her hated Callen for being so damned stupid for shooting the asshole in the first place because now he had to leave them. He'd crossed the line that separated them from the suspects and was now technically a criminal himself. They could do nothing when the cops arrested him and took him away. Now it was likely he'd end up in Leavenworth and their team would never be the same. What would happen to OSP? It was all so uncertain and frightening and the possibilities were making her feel sick with fear that this could be the catalyst for ruining everything she had built here in last few years.

The list of people who had abandoned her, intentionally or otherwise, was growing. Her father, Jack, Dom, Renko and now it was Callen. Hetty was probably going to leave-_again_-and she was honestly scared Sam would do something stupid and get himself killed through misplaced guilt.

"I won't leave you if I can help it" Deeks muttered roughly. "I know it's not much and I can't promise you that I won't get killed in the line of duty or in car crash or even if a fucking piano lands on me when I step out of the door, but I won't just up and leave."

"I know" she murmured, wrapping her arms around him and putting her head on his shoulder.

"Well aren't you two cosy" muttered a wonderfully familiar voice, low and uncharacteristically rough, but tinged with reluctant amusement, making the pair of them startle.

In front of them, his hands by his hips was a truly exhausted and worn Sam Hanna that was eyeing the two of them like he was trying to be stern but was too tired and amused to achieve it.

"Like a pair of teenagers" he grunted at them, shaking his head, before fixing a look at Deeks that would make criminals uneasy. "How's your neck?"

"Eh, it's good" Deeks casually shifted so that his legs were facing the SEAL and there was some space between them. "How's yours?" he asked, referring to his injury escaping the warehouse.

"It's good" Sam continued his gimlet-eyed stare on her partner and Kensi wondered if Sam had figured out what little subterfuge their liaison had done. His scrutiny was making Deeks a little uneasy.

"The next time you feel like putting your life on the line go after a drug dealer or a terrorist. Your life expectancy will be better" Sam deadpanned.

"No problem" Deeks said easily, a hint of a smirk in his voice and Kensi smiled a little.

Sam sobered and leaned down to scrutinise Deeks's throat, tilting his head to get a better look. Kensi knew at once Sam was just piling more guilt onto his broad shoulders.

"Sam" she said warningly, narrowing her eyes. "Sam don't even think about it, he probably deserved it."

"Thanks Kens" Deeks grumbled moving his head away from the SEAL's fingers. "Don't worry about it big guy."

Sam's face didn't change but he did change the subject. "Where's Nell and Eric?"

"Up in Ops" Kensi replied quickly.

"They're just dealing with everything that's happened like us" Deeks shrugged one shoulder.

Sam's face seemed to become wooden as he glanced up at the staircase. He looked so tired and so sad, but the tangible anger from earlier was gone. Kensi didn't know what was worse.

"Sit" she ordered firmly.

Sam looked at her and then the couch that both she and Deeks were occupying and raised his eyebrow sceptically.

She gritted her teeth, knowing full well this could back fire abruptly got up and without a word sat down on Deeks's lap.

Her partner let out a noise that was a cross between a squawk and an 'eep' as his hands automatically went around to hover at her waist, reluctant to actually hold her. Pointedly, she cut her eyes to the free spot beside them and arched an eyebrow challengingly at Sam.

Sam actually grinned and that was worth the embarrassment of her impulsive move. Obediently the older man exaggeratedly put his butt onto the couch. Feeling decidedly bold she then twisted her hips so that her legs were up and plonked them straight onto Sam's lap.

Sam actually snorted with laughter and grinned at her. At this vantage point she could also see her partner and see the lovely reddened expression on his face.

"I'm impressed you actually shut him up" Sam teased gently, his large hands gently holding her legs in place.

Kensi smiled and pointedly ignored the reaction her close proximity to her partner had achieved.

"How're you doing?" she asked quietly, hating to cut through momentary humour but she knew it would fade anyway. The absence of their fourth and final team mate was weighing down the familiar banter and teasing.

Sam's face closed down and he looked down at her feet, a hand gently rubbing them much like Deeks had done.

"Hetty's resigning" he muttered and Kensi felt the words plough into her gut like a punch to the solar plexus. Deeks tensed and shifted under her weight and she heard him curse lowly.

Kensi licked her lips, hurt and pain welling up inside. First Callen now Hetty.

"She give her resignation yet?" Deeks asked flatly.

Sam scoffed quietly, a bitter edge in his voice. "She'd give it to Vance if she could. Thing is, a bomb went off at HQ in DC yesterday. The whole agency is in uproar."

A long stunned moment later and still Kensi couldn't think of what to say.

"Fuck" Deeks said simply and succinctly and considering how rarely he actually swore, it summed up the situation perfectly.

"Right" Sam agreed.

"Anything else we should know? Just to get all the bad news out of the way."

"Callen's being charged with first degree murder" Sam murmured lowly, his head hanging, the picture of defeat. "I've been named as the Supervisory Agent of the OSP. Hetty's agreed to hold off quitting temporarily. Kensi you've been named as the Senior Field Agent. Your position is still there Deeks."

"As if you could get rid of me that easily" Deeks joked weakly, looking a little stunned. Kensi found herself too frozen to even react.

"No doubt" Sam sighed and closed his eyes. Kensi was reminded of Atlas, of the Greek legends who had carried the weight of the world as punishment. Unable to bear it, she leaned forward and grasped one of Sam's large hands tightly even as her other hand sought her partner's. Her moves weren't disregarded as both easily accepted her gesture and possibly appreciated despite the unmanliness of it.

"I don't know what to do" Sam muttered quietly in defeat.

_And that was the problem_ Kensi thought. _What _can _we do?_

Their team-_her team_-was broken, one of their own gone and they couldn't get him back. They were shell shocked; too much trauma and too many losses in too short a time. Their motley team of mismatched damaged people had been torn apart, their worlds' had been turned upside down and now they were too stunned and too wounded to get back up again.

Kensi had felt this way when she had been 15 and learned of her father's death, wondering how she would be able to ever move on from the devastating loss. Then when she was 22 she had woken up one morning to find her fiancée gone and it had almost destroyed her all over again. No matter how many times she had suffered unimaginable loss, it never got easier to experience.

_I just know there's someone up there laughing their ass off_, she thought grimly. Screw logical thinking, she didn't care, she was just so sick of losing people she cared about. How much was someone supposed to take?

She felt Deeks squeeze her hand and glanced at his face, seeing just what she could see from Sam and what she felt herself-helplessness. None of them knew what to do. None of them could do anything.

She leaned against her solid partner, knowing full well they'd have to get up and face the world eventually, but neither she nor her team members were willing or ready to. They probably would never really be ready but they were all excellent pretenders.

And for now, they simply sat in silence, ignoring the real world for a little while longer, pretending that everything would work out in the end.

A/N: not as good as I was hoping, but here it is nevertheless. A fun start to the summer. Seeing as there's absolutely no jobs to be found, I'll probably end up writing lots this summer.


End file.
